I didn't shave. On purpose
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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