i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
