She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize