That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
