I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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