I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
