You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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