Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
