If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Damn victory sex feels great
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
