I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
