grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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