I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
what day is it and did you see me today?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
