Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
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She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
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his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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