Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have fence marks all over my body
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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