babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
