some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
