fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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