My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
