When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
