Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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