ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
