I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize