Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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