UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We had to coat check the pizza.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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