i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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