I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize