Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
