I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
