i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
