you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
