your thong is hanging out like whoa
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
