just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
