i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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