wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
