Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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