The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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