BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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