Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
