I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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