yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize