hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
