do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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