tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
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