i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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