And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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