Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
