Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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