Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
