No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
