: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
