you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
