So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
