people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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