I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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