Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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