idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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