Just mADE A PArabola og urine
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
