So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
