Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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