dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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