I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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