WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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