I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
