There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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