I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
