he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
