For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
