Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
