she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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