Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
