Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize