they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
